"Instead of Pants" - clean-comedy podcast #138

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Instead of Pants – tRN138

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We share childhood holdovers/leftovers stories from ourselves and our listeners!

Featured theme: childhood “leftovers”

Hello earthlies!

On the topic of “childhood leftovers”, boy have I got a list for you!

I grew up in the south where everybody shops at the Piggly Wiggly and uses sarcasm for everything, so this is what my family taught me growing up:

My father, when I asked him what sarcasm was, said “Sarcasm is an animal. It looks like a whale with a horn on it, kind of like a narwhal.” It took me years to figure out that he was being sarcastic.

My grandmother told me that a baby donkey was called a “donklet” and that pizza grew on vines.

My mother likes to tell the story of how I learned to scoot on my stomach across the floor. Long story short, she left a poptar sitting on the table, and I was lying on the floor across the room. When she came back from answering the phone, the poptart was gone.

My brother, who is four years younger than me, also used to wear his clothes in a strange way. He liked to consider himself a grown man (he was three) and plenty capable of dressing himself. So, every single morning, he would wake up and put on a two t-shirts. One where it’s supposed to go, and another on his legs. He would walk around all morning like that, and you could see his Pull-up through the hole wear his head should be. It looked like he had four arms when he laid down.

Those are just the ones that I remembered off the top of my head, so thanks!

-Sammy

So I just heard episode 134 (keep in mind late at night) everything was good until you played the voicemail
You have no idea how hard I laughed and cried (trying not to wake anyone up) I laughed even harder when you guys said it was evil Jenny’s Nook (you have no idea how bad my side’s hurt from laughing silently)

I have a confession, it was me that sent it. I had no idea that you would play it (or how to delete it to be honest) gosh I sound stupid

I wanted to send my childhood story through voice mail but had no idea what the heck I was doing so I send it by email instead

I will remember the “what the huhhh huhhh” voicemail forever

Love,
Kimmibear

Hello Ramen Noodle podcast people
Its kimmibear5 that usually listens to ONCE podcast but I love the ramen noodle podcast more and more

Anyways,
Something I haven’t grown out of and I am pretty sure other people haven’t either is that I still watch PBS Kids shows. Like Sesame Street, Arthur , Dragon tales, even Barney (the old episodes) plus more!
I love them cause they are cheesy and they just bring good memories

Your faithful listener,
Kimberly Quintero Villegas (try to say that 5 times fast) lol
AKA kimmibear5

Daniel, I also had a funny karate story… but I think only someone else in karate would find it funny… so I am just going to tell it to you in this email, not as a feedback or voicemail… I had just listened to your podcast about judging a karate tournament from long ago, and it made me think of this…

So… I was about 14 when this tournament took place… I had just gotten my green belt, which meant I was competing at the intermediate level for the first time. I was at a province wide style-specific (Chito-Ryu) tournie (t’was my first time judging the ankle biters… t’was my first time competing against BLACKBELTS which was very intimidating… and it was my first time coaching, as we move up to “adult” classes when you start high school here… so I was teaching at the kid’s classes then)… I show up at this tournament so excited for all those reasons… also a little shy/nervous… but also SUPER PUMPED because for the first time, I am also competing in FOUR categories (kata, team kata, plus 2 kumite divisions)… so I was expecting lots of fun… lots of medals, etc.

Towards the end of the day… my judging was done… my coaching was done… my competing was done… I had won a medal in each category I was in, making it my most successful tournament yet… it was very exciting… So, I’m just hanging out, waiting for my teammates to be finished and my Sensei comes up to me and goes “Good, Erin, you’re still here… I need you in for team kumite, I need an intermediate girl because Natalie just dropped out…” and she then walks away in a rush to go fix the registration or whatever…

TEAM KUMITE? This was the first time I had EVER heard that term. They did not have that at the provincial tournaments I’d been to, and they had never had that at the Chito-ryu tournaments I’d been to either… So she walks away, and I’m just thinking… “What is team kumite?”

So, of course, like the good little karate student I am… I approach the first blackbelt I could find… My buddy’s older brother… NOT from my club and not a proper adult, but a blackbelt nonetheless… and I say to him “I just got put in for team kumite… I don’t even know what that is…?”….

To which he responds, looking me in the eye in ALL seriousness… “It’s when they put all six team members in the ring and the last person standing wins. It is just a free-for-all”.

Now, I wouldn’t call myself a gullible person… but I had asked a sensei and expected a sensei answer… I just freaked out. (I HATED kumite to begin with, although it was always my strongest category… and loved Kata even though I SUCK at it… I was just FREAKING OUT.)

That blackbelt’s mother then approached me (her other son did train at my club)… and asked me what was going on… I told her I got put in for team kumite, and she starts off all “Oh, that’s great, you did great in kumite this tournie, blah blah” and when i told her what he had said, she was MAAAAAD at him, haha. It made for a good nervous laugh before I actually had to go into the ring… but I will never forget that feeling of pure terror when he told me that…

We ended up getting gold, which was great for me because it was my first (and I still think it is my only) gold medal EVER… because this OTHER girl named ERIN always beat me and I ended up with silver… but my team beat her team and we got gold… so it was lovely and successful… but I still remind him of how mean he was whenever I see him… what a mean thing to do! haha.

Hopefully you will get to train again soon! I’d love to train again (had to quit when I went to uni – literally got my shodan in July and started uni in September of the same year) if my post-op knee ever recoups!

Erin J

We also heard voicemails from:

Erin J
Heather
Mr. Bezzantine
Spytec

Tell us something funny!

Whether you have a funny life story, you saw something funny, or you have a joke, please share your funny stuff with us:

Comment on the shownotes
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Email feedback@CleanComedyPodcast.com (audio files welcome)
Send a voice message through CleanComedyPodcast.com

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the Ramen Noodle
PO Box 739
Burlington, KY 41005

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