Save $58,000 on your life, stock up on oxygen, and be more awesome to yourself (despite the head oil), all in our latest clean-comedy podcast!
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Random Noodle Updates
Daniel noticed an old guy with oxygen tank, and also shared a hair update.
Jeremy and Daniel share stories of meeting Phyrelight.
Jenny told a story (channeled through Daniel) of a French troll in her Minecraft server and how someone smartly got them to shut. You can apply this lesson, too!
Texting of Jeremy tripping, I tripped too! Lol, Jk, Jk. Ehem, sorry, I got a bit carried away. Anyways, I LOVE your podcast and me and my brother listen to your podcast all the time. 😉
So, you know how your podcast said to hug an arachnid? Well, one of my sisters keeps spiders as pets. So, I decided to take your advise. She happened to be keeping an arachnid at the time, so I opened the jar and let it out. It was so small and fuzzy, it was so–dare I say–cute! So, I held it and hugged it, and it… Purred? It sounded like a cat! It started nudging me with its head, and I was getting creeped out at that point. Then I noticed a little bit of orange growing bigger on it. A color changing arachnid? I dropped it on my bed. Then I noticed it had four legs, and I saw a seam. I was cautious as I started to rip it open, and there, under the arachnid costume, was a tiny, tiny baby kitty. I stared. Then I decided to put it in a box, tell my family, then tell you guys. A spider kitty!
The Amazoning Noodle
Discovered by Mr.Bezzantine:
Check out some of the reviews!
Saves $58,000, what a deal! By Zeeshan Hamid
I wasn’t going to buy this watch, but then I noticed Amazon had it with $58,000 off! What a deal. With the money I saved I purchased a brand new BMW and still had money left over for a Disney vacation. How many watches save you money to buy a car and a vacation?
Now whenever I see someone with money troubles I tell them to buy this watch and save $58,000. I am considering buying 10 of these watches so I can save $580,000 and buy a house on cash. Retirement saving is also no longer a concern for me, as I plan to buy one every year and live off the $58,000 I save.
$9.95 shipping…..Outrageous! by mrs
I had decided on this watch, but then I noticed the shipping charge. Outrageous! I’m shelling out close to 100k, and they want me to take care of the shipping too. Forget it!
Best Watch Ever! By Jon McAwesome
The Zenith Men’s Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch or Z.M.D.X.T.B.T.C.M. as I like to call it, is by far the most awesome watch. Chuck Norris riding into the Super Bowl on the back of Godzilla and round house kicking the crowd is no where near as awesome as this priceless poon magnet. When I was just moments from sending my $100k to some needy neo-hippie help group, I stumbled onto this gem. It was like the heavens opened and Jesus himself appeared with this same watch on. I mean how can you not follow Jesus when he’s rocking a watch of this caliber. So I asked “What would Jesus do?” Jesus pimp smacked me and said “Forget those hippies, buy the watch!” I was like “HECK YEAH.” I busted out my Discover card and bought this rocking piece of art. I mean its art but its also practical too. Like when I take my summer trips to the Marianas Trench, I have no more worries that I am going to miss Tea Time back on the yacht, because water ruined my watch again. It can withstand the immense pressures of the deep due to the wicked awesome titanium. Deep seas, cant beat this. Bullets cant beat this. Heck, I can deflect cruise missiles and the apocalypse. With a watch like this you don’t need to tell time, you tell people what time it is.
An Acceptable Timepiece By I. B. Profen
It was shortly after the onset of the French Revolution that I decided to retire to my techno-chrono bio-stasis chamber under the sea, to wait out the political upheaval. My physical self thusly preserved, I hunkered in for the long wait, my 1785 Zenith Men’s Defy Xtreme Pocket Watch ticking away serenely in my waistcoat pocket. I procured from the pantry (all my cabinetry is composed of a humble gold-platinum-diamond alloy) a chess set made from the bones of leprechauns I poached from my airship, and settled into a most fascinating match, with myself. I must have lost track of time, for some moments later I noticed that my trusty time-piece had ceased its ticking. A brief glance at my instruments revealed that I had wiled away the hours with a greater rapidity than I could have imagined! The year was 2010, some 221 years after I sat down for chess! Quickly, I climbed to the surface and attempted to acclimate myself once again to society. Alas, much had changed since my departure, and a key stumbling point for me was my inability to tell time. As such, I set about to find a watch suited to my everyday needs. I was fortunate that my previously not-inconsiderable accounts had garnered some not-inconsiderable interest, and therefore were now tremendously not-inconsiderable. I purchased this watch from a fellow – Amazon – whose stock of wares was impressively vast. Hereafter follows a delineated account of my arguments for the watch, as well as those against:
Arguments in the Watch’s Favor:
- Tells Time with acceptable accuracy
- Complimentary PhD., which comes in the box
- Power to Alter Reality through Dark Arcane Magicks
- Deployable Cheese Wheel
Arguments Against the Watch:
- Slightly Heavy on the Wrist
- Does not come in a Left-Handed model
- Built-in Baby Seal Generator didn’t work as well as advertised
- Will not fend off ravenous sharks/bears/etc. unless properly motivated and well-rested
- Always tick, never tock
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